Ripping up my Home…

Linen Skirt, crop top, leather mules outfit post

Linen Skirt, crop top, leather mules outfit post

fullsizeoutput_bf

Linen Skirt, crop top, leather mules outfit post

Top: Blush | Skirt: Banana Republic  {SIMILAR}| Mules: {SIMILAR} {SIMILAR} | Sunnies: Ray Bans

Today I write with a heavy, and frightened heart. I’ve actually been staring at my laptop, coming up with very average blog post ideas for about 4 hours, but all I truly want to write about is my family — so that’s what I’ll do.

Hurricane Irma is quickly, and violently, approaching my hometown of Tampa, FL. Half of my family has evacuated to higher ground, but they’re all essentially still in Tampa. I worry, not about the things – those can be replaced & are insured, but more about my dad’s home, and the memories we’ve made there over the last few years. Nothing will ever take those away from my mind, but as I’m a sentimental type of human, reliving them when I go home for the holidays is one of my favorite things.

I love sitting on the porch where my dad married the love of his life, Lise, in front of all of our family & friends, and remembering the sheer joy on his face. The goodbyes in the driveway, always at the crack of dawn before I left to come back to Nashville. Sitting at my dad’s bar in the man-cave, talking for hours about nonsense, troubles, loves, and sipping on his newest favorite bourbon. I remember sitting at the kitchen counter, while my soon to be step mom, Lise, told me that I could do anything I wanted to, and if that was move somewhere I didn’t know a soul – I should try, and that I would get through whatever was ripping me apart emotionally at the time.

While I know that my mom and that side of my family is on higher ground, I’m still riddled with worry about the damage that could still happen around them.

As I sit on my porch writing this in the most beautiful weather that Nashville has seen all year, glued to my phone and computer for updates, I know that my home town is about to have immense destruction done to it over the next 24 hours.  That truly scares me. I’m a serial control freak, and being so removed from such a major event is really affecting me this weekend. I hate not being able to help at all – I’m not a sit and wait kind of girl.

I’m not a big religious person, but I pray that my family and friends are safe – and get through this unscathed. I pray for all of Florida.

Worried, anxious, hopeful, & praying,

—Tay

Advertisements

Finding Myself at 27

smiling outfit post bourbon + vine
silk cami: Versona Boutique; similar here + here, shorts: Zara (2016, $40) similar ones here + here
Bourbon + Vine Outfit Post
Rebecca Minkoff ‘Mac Crossbody’: embossed leather with gunmetal details (very old, but always a ride or die; I think she only does the ‘mini mac’ now, but those are just as awesome) current faves here + here
bourbon + vine window photo outfit
Gold hoop earings: Charming Charlieshere
Bourbon + Vine Outfit post
Sandals: Topshop 2016 @ Nordstrom: similar here + here
Bourbon + Vine Sending love photo
Sending love your way kitties ❤

The choice to move to Tennessee was one that was a sink or swim moment in my life. I’d basically been born and raised in Tampa, FL (with small stints in both New Jersey & Miami) and after having a few of the worst years of my life, I knew I needed to pick myself up by my bootstraps (HA…because I moved to Nashville..get it?!?! ), and do something that I knew I would either fail miserably at, or thrive like I had never done before. I desperately wanted to move somewhere that I didn’t know a soul, and I could be the exact version of myself that I’d always wanted to be — independent, driven, fun loving, and most of all…happy with myself again.

When I got in my car with my dog (Sebastian) at 3am after saying goodbye to my parents, I cried almost the entire 12 hours to Nashville, then I walked into my itty bitty empty apartment and cried a little more. Had I just made the worst mistake of my life? Why would I move somewhere so far from the people and things I loved? Could I actually do this? The next day, I woke up and began exploring my new city… the parks..the restaurants… speaking to the people — I could DEFINITELY do this, just take it one day at a time.

Here I am a year and 4 months later, and I can honestly say moving to Nashville was the best decision I’ve ever made. I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my adult life, with myself, my body image, my mental state, and even my friends. Speaking of, you know when you watch Sex in the City as a younger girl and you look at Carrie, Samantha, Miranda & Charlotte and you think – I wish someday I could have friends like that —the no topic off limits, zero judgement, laugh until you cry type of friends that are your real soulmates? Yeah, those are my girls here. I hope that every lady someday finds friends like mine that will lift you up when you’re sad, push you when you need it, and support each other like all women (and hell- people) should, but rarely do.

I’m not sure if it’s my age, the move to a new city, or a combination of everything that has changed my body image so drastically. However, I’m so happy it has. We, as women deal with a lot of shit…..constantly. I know I don’t have to mention the negative things we say or think about ourselves, and God forbid, other people. But, at 27 years old, I’m FINALLY happy with the body I’ve been dealt. Is it perfect? HELL NO, I love tacos and bourbon way too much — but ladies, rock hard abs & JLO booties are NOT realistic for…well…me at least. I’d rather eat my body weight in sushi (which I actually did on Friday I think), and drink copious amounts of bourbon when appropriate (and not) and be happy… and a little jiggly in places. Hey – let’s be real, I’ve never had a man turn down anything I’m offering because I don’t have a 6 pack. Be positive with yourself, learn to love your body one step/part at a time. You’ll be happy you did; I know I am.

Nashville was my make it or break it moment, that ended up being an amazing catalyst for love and happiness within myself. Do something that you’ve always wanted to do, but may have been too scared before to do. It might end up being a catalyst for something(s) even greater. Life is precious and short — live it to your fullest lovely’s.

Sending nothing but love your way,

Tay